May the Lord pour grace upon you to help you manage a difficult task.

Wally

Anyway, she has taken care of my brother who was diagnosed with Leukemia a year ago. She pretty much has gone through the wringer, but has had help from me and my siblings. My husband and sons have been the most involved and me personally. We physically moved them to Idaho, let them live in a house of ours rent free, gave them money, helped them get a new checking acct, helped move their adult children and I have been there emotionally for her and literally have been burned out from giving of myself.

Anyway, after treatment for my brother in Utah, they are back in Idaho and I have set some boundaries, but they seem to get forgotten. So during my recent visits, my sister in law complains, and I’m not there for the complaints at all.

But all I seem to hear is that we aren’t doing enough to make their lives comfortable in so many words. The latest was that handles were missing from an antique dresser and certain a valuable rock from a relative of hers is not there at the house.

I then was hearing accusatory words. As if we might have taken these items or someone stole them, which couldn’t possibly be our wonderful nonmember neighbors that came over and unloaded a large box truck and large enclosed trailer while they were still traveling at their own speed.

I spotted the stone she was talking about right where it was placed and I’m pretty sure the handles on the dresser were missing the day we packed it into our box truck. That packing day involved 3 sets of missionaries, my husband and her two sons. We made it possible for her collection of rocks to come with her as she was mourning the loss of other items she loved. They were carefully packed and she chose not to supervise as she was under so much stress and sadness.

All of their belongings were carefully carried into our rental house and garage and there wasn’t anytime for either the 3 sets of missionaries at my brother’s old home nor our neighbor’s sons at the new home to take the stone nor the dresser’s handles. Which not all handles were missing. This task was done last April and she seems to find the time to question this 8 months later. Always in front of her adult children and my brother.

I really wanted to ask her why she is asking about this now. Also, logically how would the stone be taken. I held my tongue as I’ve been through these type of conversations before and she ends up in tears and very upset. But I am left downtrodded and frustrated and just don’t have nor want to have the arguing skills that she has. As like the woman Bro Goddard spoke with, I would say my sister in law is volatile.

I could look at it this way to comfort her, as she is thinking of all her losses which many happened before my brother’s illness. So the missing handles and the stone (which I believe is still on the porch) was just a reminder of what her life use to be like and because her mind is so full of tasks to do that she can’t see the stone nor remember what happened to the dresser’s handles at this time.

I know that I’m not going to change this woman, she has had too many years thinking in this manner and still has trials ahead, but my brother has won the battle of Leukemia and can return to his old job but in the state they were living in.

This is still a few months away and my sister in law is taking on the task of finding work and getting more education. As they have had no income for over a year, except for what the government has allowed for my brother’s disability and health insurance.

I think I said the right things for my sister in law’s comments, but it is the getting it off my mind when I am at home. All the feelings that come with such comments from a relative that we have spent over a year helping at the sacrifice of my own children and husband’s goals. My husband and children have been generous and understanding, but do feel the same feelings of frustration after all they have done for my brother’s family.

This article reminds me to know that Heavenly Father is the healer and I am an instrument in His hands and realize that He can soothe my pains too. This test isn’t over yet, but my reactions to the test can be changed.

-Wally

I am humbled by the burdens that some are called to carry. May the grace of Christ lift you up.

-Wally

-Wally

Blessings to you.
Wally