Comments on: The Problem with Divorce http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/ Free Articles on LDS Marriage, Parenting. Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:23:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: admin http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-780 admin Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:01:25 +0000 http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/#comment-780 I recommend that you sit down with your ecclesiastical leader, tell him that you want to honor and sustain the covenants you have made. Ask for his help. Blessings to you, Brother. Wally I recommend that you sit down with your ecclesiastical leader, tell him that you want to honor and sustain the covenants you have made. Ask for his help.

Blessings to you, Brother.
Wally

]]> By: Brother Terry http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-773 Brother Terry Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:21:47 +0000 http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/#comment-773 After 35 years of marriage, a behavioral addiction that came to light, repentance and appropriate discipline I am now being asked to submit divorce papers. My spouse has received divine permission within the walls of the temple to find another husband even though we both are holding and using our recommends weekly. I have sought for similar divine instruction that I too may proceed with faith and affirmation but it has not come. I do not desire divorce but want to be obedient and walk where ever my God wants me to. What next? After 35 years of marriage, a behavioral addiction that came to light, repentance and appropriate discipline I am now being asked to submit divorce papers. My spouse has received divine permission within the walls of the temple to find another husband even though we both are holding and using our recommends weekly. I have sought for similar divine instruction that I too may proceed with faith and affirmation but it has not come. I do not desire divorce but want to be obedient and walk where ever my God wants me to. What next?

]]> By: Claudia http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-764 Claudia Mon, 19 Oct 2009 04:01:57 +0000 http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/#comment-764 Dear Wally -- I have at several times been quite touched by the abiding testimony you have of the sanctity of the marriage covenant, and I appreciate the directness of your words. I, too, hope those who feel they are suffering in marriage are able to distinguish between relationships which may be truly detrimental or abusive vs. those which are candidates for divine repair. I especially appreciated your section entitled 'His sternness is sweet.' I am still in the process of recognizing my part in any challenges my marriage may face, but one big clue for me is when I begin to feel a bit like a martyr. I usually know then that my perspective is probably a bit off! Playing the martyr feels good to us sometimes because it strips us of any responsibility for change; but I think it can be one of Satan's ploys to keep us from trying harder to rely on the Savior to lead us into greater harmony with our spouses. I can't remember where I read this -- perhaps even in "Drawing Heaven into your Marriage" -- but the idea was something along the lines of there is much good that can come from the union of a righteous man and woman. Satan knows this, and he will do anything he can to destroy families. I think Elder Eyring's remarks at general conference help to remind us of what being a righteous spouse looks, feels and sounds like. It is my testimony that when we consistently apply Elder Eyring's suggestions, then the Savior can work to help our marriage be a greater joy in our life and in the lives of others than we could ever imagine. It may not happen overnight, but it can happen. Claudia Dear Wally — I have at several times been quite touched by the abiding testimony you have of the sanctity of the marriage covenant, and I appreciate the directness of your words. I, too, hope those who feel they are suffering in marriage are able to distinguish between relationships which may be truly detrimental or abusive vs. those which are candidates for divine repair.

I especially appreciated your section entitled ‘His sternness is sweet.’ I am still in the process of recognizing my part in any challenges my marriage may face, but one big clue for me is when I begin to feel a bit like a martyr. I usually know then that my perspective is probably a bit off! Playing the martyr feels good to us sometimes because it strips us of any responsibility for change; but I think it can be one of Satan’s ploys to keep us from trying harder to rely on the Savior to lead us into greater harmony with our spouses.

I can’t remember where I read this — perhaps even in “Drawing Heaven into your Marriage” — but the idea was something along the lines of there is much good that can come from the union of a righteous man and woman. Satan knows this, and he will do anything he can to destroy families. I think Elder Eyring’s remarks at general conference help to remind us of what being a righteous spouse looks, feels and sounds like.

It is my testimony that when we consistently apply Elder Eyring’s suggestions, then the Savior can work to help our marriage be a greater joy in our life and in the lives of others than we could ever imagine. It may not happen overnight, but it can happen. Claudia

]]> By: jacob http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-763 jacob Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:57:52 +0000 http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/#comment-763 President Eyring listed four things we could pray for in our marriages last week in conference: ● pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion ● pray for the love that makes the weaknesses and mistakes seem small ● pray for the love to make your companion's joy your own ● pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion These prayers require us to leave our ego at the door and begin focusing on discipleship and charity in the marriage covenant. Surely these desires would lessen the "need" for divorce. President Eyring listed four things we could pray for in our marriages last week in conference:

● pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion
● pray for the love that makes the weaknesses and mistakes seem small
● pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own
● pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion

These prayers require us to leave our ego at the door and begin focusing on discipleship and charity in the marriage covenant. Surely these desires would lessen the “need” for divorce.

]]> By: Jim http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-762 Jim Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:06:55 +0000 http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/#comment-762 Wally, As always, thank you for these insights. I believe too often we are like Esau- in our shortsightedness we give up our significant birthright for a mere mess of pottage. I also agree that in general we are prone to avoid situations that are difficult or painful, even though it is those very situations that give us the greatest opportunity for learning, growth, and refinement. And although I believe "we" too often turn to divorce as the solution, I also wonder how often "we" remain in mediocre marriages, perhaps emotionally divorced, and still very short of the all that our covenants require. Wally,
As always, thank you for these insights. I believe too often we are like Esau- in our shortsightedness we give up our significant birthright for a mere mess of pottage.

I also agree that in general we are prone to avoid situations that are difficult or painful, even though it is those very situations that give us the greatest opportunity for learning, growth, and refinement.

And although I believe “we” too often turn to divorce as the solution, I also wonder how often “we” remain in mediocre marriages, perhaps emotionally divorced, and still very short of the all that our covenants require.

]]> By: Sister Lowe http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-761 Sister Lowe Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:50:50 +0000 http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/#comment-761 Dr. Wally...Wow, thank you for yet another reminder and soothing words; you're Christ's messenger to those of us who are striving to keep marriage covenants. When you reminded me in your email the other day to keep doing what I'm doing to be a good wife and Christian and let my husband decide whether to be one, I did just that. Our relationship has its positive and uplifting moments; we take it one day at a time. He took me on a date last week; we had a great time on the beach on Sat. He continues to sleep at his bro's, but on Sat morning he came over to watch General Conf together, laid down and put his arm around me. I invited my husband to read one of your articles called "Modern Moods and Marriages"; he liked it a lot. I also invited him to read the book "The Love Dare" based on the movie Fireproof. You probably heard of it; it's a 40day journey of daring to love even when you're not loved in return; I'm on day 23. I continue to do the little things that I know can make a difference. Last week Friday, he called me that he was thinking about me. Yesterday he called and said he was looking forward to seeing me and kids. I think his heart is slowly changing towards God. My heart has changed and I continue to repent. I'm focusing on changing myself instead of focusing on the fact that my husband still hasn't returned permanently. It is so much easier to focus on changing myself instead of expecting my husband to change his behavior or meet my expectations. So, I live expecting nothing from him, but offering what I can to him. Thank you for your articles and counsel; they do help me deal with my humanness and reaching out to the power of the Savior to heal and bless our relationship. May God bless you for using your talents and gifts to help me see the errors of my ways and to help me feel the Spirit. I like that your articles are gospel centered. Dr. Wally…Wow, thank you for yet another reminder and soothing words; you’re Christ’s messenger to those of us who are striving to keep marriage covenants. When you reminded me in your email the other day to keep doing what I’m doing to be a good wife and Christian and let my husband decide whether to be one, I did just that. Our relationship has its positive and uplifting moments; we take it one day at a time. He took me on a date last week; we had a great time on the beach on Sat. He continues to sleep at his bro’s, but on Sat morning he came over to watch General Conf together, laid down and put his arm around me. I invited my husband to read one of your articles called “Modern Moods and Marriages”; he liked it a lot. I also invited him to read the book “The Love Dare” based on the movie Fireproof. You probably heard of it; it’s a 40day journey of daring to love even when you’re not loved in return; I’m on day 23. I continue to do the little things that I know can make a difference. Last week Friday, he called me that he was thinking about me. Yesterday he called and said he was looking forward to seeing me and kids. I think his heart is slowly changing towards God. My heart has changed and I continue to repent. I’m focusing on changing myself instead of focusing on the fact that my husband still hasn’t returned permanently. It is so much easier to focus on changing myself instead of expecting my husband to change his behavior or meet my expectations. So, I live expecting nothing from him, but offering what I can to him. Thank you for your articles and counsel; they do help me deal with my humanness and reaching out to the power of the Savior to heal and bless our relationship. May God bless you for using your talents and gifts to help me see the errors of my ways and to help me feel the Spirit. I like that your articles are gospel centered.

]]> By: Aleen http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-759 Aleen Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:16:28 +0000 http://www.drwally.org/thriving-in-marriage/the-problem-with-divorce/#comment-759 So very well said, Dr. Wally, as usual. . . I treasure your articles in the Meridian Magazine and your blog. I share them frequently with family and friends. Thank you so much for your inspired insights and gospel based teachings. I am anxious to own your books soon. Happy autumn, Brother Goddard! So very well said, Dr. Wally, as usual. . . I treasure your articles in the Meridian Magazine and your blog. I share them frequently with family and friends. Thank you so much for your inspired insights and gospel based teachings. I am anxious to own your books soon. Happy autumn, Brother Goddard!

]]>